Let’s Go Darkness

Yes, I know I have been neglecting this blog quite a bit (read: a lot) but I promise it will be better from now on! As of now I will aim to do at least one blog post a week, whether it’s about my creative adventures, food or other everyday stuff. I just really need to get back into the habit of writing as it helps clear my mind of other things.

So we’re starting with something creative, namely a wonderful behind the scenes pic of me and the lovely Lucy Fehr during our shoot with Katiekat yesterday. Lucy is all black metal badass and can’t keep a straight face πŸ˜›
Our dresses are from Black Milk Clothing, my corset is made by Viola Lahger and my nail armor is from Myril Jewels.

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Cynical Fashion Magazine Latex Issue June 2015

Yet again I’ve forgotten to update this blog. Sorry about that but life got a bit in the way in the form of moving house together with my boyfriend. It’s been stressful since there was so much to take care of, but now we’re settling in nicely and can finally start to relax πŸ™‚

I’ve had a couple of magazine features this summer and am waiting for more to be published soon. Here is the tearsheet from my feature in Cynical Fashion Magazine June 2015 Latex Issue.

Photo: Belinda Bartzner – Photography
Hair stylist: Psychadelica Hair & Design
Latex: Naucler Design
Gloves: All you need is Gloves
Necklace: The Crypt of Curiosities

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Fetish Goth Portraits

Thought it was high time I posted something on this blog ^^ Here are some shots from this year’s first photo shoot, with Natalie G Sundling of course. We did two sets, but I can’t show you the first one yet since it’s going to be published in a magazine later this fall πŸ™‚

Anyway, enjoy these portraits!

Corset: Viola Lahger
Latex bolero: Maebelle Latex
Latex gloves: All you need is Gloves
Hair sticks & earrings: HairJems
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Black Milk in Autumn

Wow, I’ve really neglected this blog it seems. I’ll blame it on work and the Holidays as things have been pretty hectic.

I did realise though that I’ve forgotten to show you this shoot I did last fall with Natalie G Sundling, before she left for the States.

Leggings & lace dress: Black Milk Clothing
Latex top: Maebelle Latex
Earrings: HairJems

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Busy Bee & Corsets

Sorry for not being so active here lately, but I’ve been busy as hell with studies and finishing off my internship. I’m currently trying to get a report/analysis of the period done while mentally preparing myself for the extra assignment I need to hand in to pass the paleography class. And on top of that I start working full time on Monday. Whofuckinghoo… I’m really annoyed at myself for not doing better, because I really worked hard on this. And I hate to fail at something.

But I’ll do what I always do. Bitch and moan about it for a short while, then dust myself off and get back to do my best damn work ever.

But at least I’m getting a bit creative again. Had a shoot yesterday with Natalie G Sundling, will shoot with KT Twisted photography on Friday and am fully booked next weekend with both Kitty Carol and Linda Florin. So I’ve got that game going at least. And I can finally bring out some of the things I’ve been dying to shoot for months! Including the latex set I got from Westward Bound about six months ago :3

And this baby is also coming out to play, my new darling from Viola Lahger ❀ The photo doesn’t make it justice though, the colours are a lot brighter in real life :3

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2013 Chronicle

Wow, this year has really been busy! It’s had its ups and downs, but luckily, mostly ups πŸ™‚ Here’s a little chronicle over the past year’s adventures, enjoy!

January:
Finished my first semester in Archival Science and almost immediately got started on the next one. Was waayy too busy for shoots though, my head was mostly buried in books.. I did however acquire my second pair of latex gloves from All You Need Is GL<3VES ^^

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February:
So much studying… But I got my shooting game back on with a lovely winter photo shoot together with KT Twisted photography.

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March:This was the month that saw the light of the first publication I fixed all by myself, the second overall publication in total πŸ™‚ This was a huge milestone for me as it was in a quite well-known magazine, The Cat’s Meow Magazine. I also did some shoots with Natalie G Sundling, including an Easter themed one πŸ™‚

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April:
The month of my birthday! And this month I also got to collaborate with a new latex designer, ASD Latex πŸ™‚ I did shoots with both KT Twisted photography and Natalie G Sundling, the latter one with some latex from now closed Naucler Design.

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May:
Took a small break from modelling due to the heaps of studies that needed to be finished. I also started a summer job as a registrar that would end up lasting until the end of October.

June:
I aced the second semester in Archival Science! This was also the month when I got to work with Belinda Bartzner – Photography for the first time.

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July:
Had several shoots this month, including two with two new photographers: Linda Florin and Kitty Carol. I also got to work with a new makeup artist, Josephine Levander πŸ™‚ It was a wonderful summer, even though I spent most of it working.

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August:
This month I went to my first Victorian Picnic with a bunch of friends. It was a lot of fun and I hope to go again this year πŸ™‚ I also did a new shoot with Belinda Bartzner – Photography and landed my second publication in Kultur Magazine!

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September:
Worked, went to a food festival my honey, Mashiara, and bought my first pair of Black Milk leggings. I even did a shoot with them together with Natalie G Sundling ^^ We also shot some pretty hair accessories for a designer, The Psychobilly Shop UK.

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October:
Had my third photoshoot with Belinda Bartzner – Photography. Unfortunately though, her camera got stolen and all the pictures were lost forever. So this photo is the only one that will ever be seen from it until we can get a chance to do it again..

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November:
My grandmother got out of hospital after being there for 4 months. I also started my new internship and had lots of shoots planned. Illness and stupid weather got them all canceled though so I spent most of this month working and studying.

December:
Did my second photoshoot with Kitty Carol, some lovely portraits (photo coming up soon, promise!). And I also did one of my favourite shoots all year with Natalie G Sundling and my latest pair of Black Milk leggings ❀

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Talk about an interesting year.. I’ve done so many things, my life has been moving upwards and I’ve got to spend time with some really lovely people. I can only hope 2014 will be even better πŸ™‚

Summer Madness

Things are pretty slow at work right now so I’m allowing my brain to relax a bit and feel creative. Funnily enough though, I’m feeling more creative when it comes to cooking and creating recipes right now than when it comes to photoshoots. I guess it’s because I’ve gotten so many wonderful ideas these past months that I need to get them out of my system before I can come up with new ones. Soon I hope to tick some of the boxes though, since I’m waiting for an outfit and some jewellery to arrive. And I’ve also got some accessories that needs shooting.
I’m really looking forward to set some dates with photographers πŸ™‚

But speaking of outfits, I payed a visit to my corset maker, Viola Lahger, yesterday to discuss a new baby. We decided on a model and the embellishments, but we were left with that difficult question of colours. I know I want soft pastels contrasting to each other, but after that I’m stuck. So we decided that she would go fabric hunting for me and I gave her a list of colours that I like ^^ I’m confident this new piece will be wonderful and I can’t wait to shoot it in the fall πŸ™‚

And while we’re on the subject of corsets, I afterwards met up with a friend to go to a local Victorian picnic. It was great to meet so many wonderful people in gorgeous outfits, eat cakes and talk about everything and nothing. I was happy to see so many wearing lovely corsets, even though it did make me cry a bit inside to see some younger girl wear theirs not only upside down but backwards too.. I can understand that one might put on an underbust upside down – hell, I’ve done that myself a few times when not looking properly! But overbust styles? I’m sorry, but that’s really beyond me..

Anyway, I had planned for a truly epic outfit with my steampunk corset, but I ran out of time and couldn’t finish it. My plan B failed due to extreme heat, so in the end I settled for a nice basic summer goth outfit with one of my favourite corsets.

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Making Summer

It’s June, it’s summer and I’m trying to finish all my remaining school work before the weekend. It’s not that much work really, I’ve spent most of my time whining about things in my last home exam. Not whining about it, but whining IN it πŸ˜› I’ve done it before, although to a lesser degree, but my teacher seemed to apporve of it then. So I’m hoping for lots of points this time ^^

I’ve also had my lovely honey Mashiara here this past week. We’ve celebrated our fifth anniversary (yes, we’ve been together for that long <3) and otherwise not done much but enjoy each other’s company. It’s been nice to have him here, but I’ll miss him like hell when he leaves..

Next week I’m finally starting my new job properly. I’ll be working full time so posts will be slow to arrive. But I have a few ideas for upcoming posts, mostly photo compilations, but I think you’ll enjoy them πŸ™‚

I also have a few photoshoots planned for the summer. I won’t tell you exactly what they’ll be yet, but I promise they will be awesome πŸ™‚ A bit of latex, a bit of corsetry, some colour and other fun things ^^ This is the nice thing about having a routine job, it makes me feel more creative and it gives me ideas for shoots and other projects. Because I am planning for other creative projects aside from modelling. I have to do something else to expand my horizons and these new ideas of mine will take me there.

But that’s for later, now it’s time for ice cream and make the most of summer while it lasts πŸ™‚

New Stuff!

My decision to take a break from modelling seems to have been a pretty good one. I don’t feel so stressed and can focus completely on my studies. Also, I’m feeling more creative. I keep getting new ideas, and hints to ideas, that I want to do. That was one thing that I was missing, the feeling of being really creative and the desire to create art.

The funny thing is, I started to feel creative when I got my latest corset – the dark green overbust that I bought from Tea Time. And I felt it again when I got my latest treasure, a beautiful necklace made from a vintage syringe.
And the lovely summery weather might also have something to do with it. Now I can finally do some proper location shoots, and I’ve missed that a lot πŸ™‚

I will stay on my break until June 15th, after that I will only be shooting on weekends since I will be working full time. But I already have a few things planned ^^

Let’s end this post with a couple of pics of my inspiring treasures!

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My darling corset ❀ Not completely laced though.

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My new syringe necklace from CuriologyOnline ❀

 

To Care Or Not To Care?

Many of us say that we don’t care about what other people think, as long as we ourselves are happy with what we do and what we accomplish.

I say: fuck that. Of course I care about what others think of what I do, how else would I know that I’m doing something good and/or right?

With that said it seems to me highly ironic that I, who have been battling a low self-esteem for the past few years, have chosen to engage in something that puts me into constant scrutiny of others. But do you know what the really weird thing is? I get more cranky when I get no attention or acknowledgement at all, then when I get critique that I find unjustified.

Attention whore? Me? Nooo, really? *can you spot the sarcasm here?*

I’d be lying if I ever said I didn’t care, because I do. Part of that I think is because of the “good girl” syndrome I seem to be suffering from, and where appriciation is a sign that I’ve done something well enough. It’s hard to not be affected, and all the lovely things my Fans tell me is one of the things that keeps me going and want to create more pretty photoshoots. I want to do well, I always have, and it’s bloody hard for me toΒ not care. Your opinion means a lot, it really really does ❀

I work very hard to create good-looking shoots, perhaps harder than people think sometimes. A lot of time and effort is put into every shoot and can litterary spend months (at times even years!) to plan a shoot to perfection. The outcome may not always be what I envisioned it to be, but I have rarely left a shoot thinking “this went like crap”. Every Like, every positive comment, and even the constructive critisism, is for me a sign that my plans and ideas were in the right direction.

I learn from every shoot I make and I always use what I’ve learned in the next shoot.

Some day I may learn to not care as much or see my work as the “love child” that I do now. But for now I just work with what I’ve got, I push myself further, make the contact that I need to get where I want to and devote my creative energy to this. Because I love to do this, I really LOVE it! And if I have to work harder than everyone else to get somewhere, than that’s what I’ll do.

I’ll bloody make it work.

Picture by Josefine JΓΆnsson, shot for Viola Lahger & This Has A Story